Do You Love Yourself Enough to Tune Everyone Else Out?

If you truly know who you are and what your life purpose is, you will love yourself enough to disregard those who stand in your way. By coming to grips with your authentic self you will gain confidence to do only what serves your highest good—and no one else’s agenda.

I have found myself at various hills and valleys in life; haven’t we all. Recently I’ve pondered the reality of putting myself first above all else. Sounds selfish. Well, it is. If you don’t know how to love yourself and listen to what your soul wants, you are no good in this world. You can’t serve others or be a positive light if you are miserable due to living an aimless existence for other people.

We have all heard that catchy phrase, “Don’t be a people-pleaser.” We know this consciously, but what about subconsciously. We understand innately somehow, that if we truly want to live our lives to the fullest we must adhere to our core principles and love ourselves for who we are.

The problem is that in our world, peer pressure and social stigmas catch us in webs of confusion and whirlwinds of guilt—false guilt, that is. Yes, there is such a thing as actual, appropriate guilt that comes on us naturally. It’s our conscience telling us that we did something wrong to ourselves or others. False guilt, however, is a manufactured construct in the mind. It is mere ‘conditioning’ that we must break if we want to be FREE.

What is Freedom?

Freedom is the ability to live your life to the fullest extend to reach your highest potential, without anyone holding you back. It’s the opportunity to go after whatever venture you choose, without the illusive constraints of any circumstance. Freedom is being immune from whatever others may do to stop you. Simple put, freedom is individual liberty. It is a sacred gift that enables free will.

One example of someone’s freedom being infringed on would be a pesky government law. If you are trying to build a business from the ground up, with a limited budget, a state law might require you to obtain an inspection first, after you fill out piles of paperwork and pay hefty application fees. This process might take months to complete, until the government gives you the permission to go ahead and fulfill your dream.

Another example of personal freedom being oppressed would be a family member who you can’t seem to relate with. You might have a mother-in-law or other close relative whose house you can never visit at family gatherings, because of some personal bias they have against you. The pressure might be so great that verbal fights and low vibes flood the occasion so bad—you’re better off not going, thus missing out on all the interaction.

One might say that the family member who’s hard to get along with is his or her problem, and not yours. However, we all affect each other through our behaviors. If it’s so bad that you can’t be in the same room without feeling uncomfortable at the threshold of an argument—restricting your freedom to even be there is the wiser choice. Are you choosing to restrict your freedom? Yes, but it’s the practical option.

Charles River Bridge, Boston Massachusetts. Image by Christopher Nawojczyk

The Two Rules of Personal Freedom

There are boundary lines of freedom: (1) do not hurt anyone, and (2) do not hurt yourself. That’s it. You can do whatever you want to the satisfaction of your heart’s content, but if you harm others in the process you will reap consequences. Moreover, if you harm yourself (mentally, psychologically or physically) you will also fall short of opportunity.

The aftermath of harm always come with a price. The repercussions will come whether or not we are aware of them. Even if we try ignoring the reality of reaping a harvest, we will still receive the fruits of whatever we sow.

You Steer Your Life’s Ship

Therefore, freedom is under your control to the degree you can make things happen with your will. No one except yourself can stop you from living life on your terms. Concerning our own will power, we hinder ourselves in the realms of our psyche. Societal conditioning, limited beliefs, and past traumas may cause fear, negative feelings, and overall self-doubt. This grief creates a poor outlook on life. We truly are our own worst enemy.

Are You faking Your Actual Life?

Being truly honest with yourself, only you know whether you heed the still small voice inside. This internal wisdom leads you toward your highest potential. Without this gut feeling you have no intrinsic compass. You are then left to the winds of change and the whims of others’ influence.

Are you happy with your job? Why or why not? Do you have a meaningful romantic partner, or are you single with little hope of finding one to share your heart with? Regarding work, are you escaping the ‘paying’ job on your free time to pursue other passionate projects which you may call hobbies? Do you dread getting up for work each morning? What about Sunday afternoon?

Researchers have discovered most heart attacks seem to occur on Monday mornings. It’s really no surprise.

Solution: Tune Everyone Else Out and Be Yourself

The only way to overcome your hardships—created by yourself or others—is to ignore them entirely and go your own way. Yes, it sounds simple but is very complex. If you have malfunctions in your brain created by limited beliefs or external forces from others that suppress your strength, then it will be HARD to escape the hell you’re in. You may not even realize that you’re living in a sub-optimal existence with so much unneeded pain.

However, working on yourself through your own volition is key. Through desire you will begin: spending more time by yourself in nature; meditating and doing more exercise; reading books that peak your curiosity, spending time in the company of people who edify you instead of tear you down; and choosing to GET AWAY from all those who stifle your progress and suck your energy dry.

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